


VULCANS FOODS PORN AND ORIONS TELENOVELA | VLOG

by Barnesies



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: (And soon-to-be Professor!Jim), (Don't squint and you STILL probably WON'T see it...), (Implied) Mpreg, (Implied) Pon Farr, (Squint and you won't see it!), Alternate Universe, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Cameras, Crack, Domestic, Established Relationship, French Writer, Illustrated, Lean On - Major Lazer & DJ Snake, M/M, Orions Telenovela, Parallel Universes, Post - (First) Five Years Mission, Post - (First) Pon Farr, Professor!Spock, San Francisco, Sickfic (sort of), Vlogger!Jim, Vulcans Foods, Youtuber!Jim (Kinda), vlogging - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:21:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4505775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barnesies/pseuds/Barnesies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Jim Kirk's Vlog. </p><p>That's what came to my mind after weeks of working on my (future) channel and too much space husbands fanfictions reading. (I also did an illustration, helped by photoshop 'cause I can't resist photoshop...ing? - Not my best though.)</p><p>Sorry, not sorry?</p><p>[Important : Written by a FRENCH Girl, who doesn't claim to be bilingual.]</p><p>Edit (08/06) : + one illustration "Big Reveal and Little Ones".</p>
            </blockquote>





	VULCANS FOODS PORN AND ORIONS TELENOVELA | VLOG

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... I may have Star Trek AND Vlogging obsessions.
> 
> Anyway, this little thing takes place in an alternative universe of mine, based on J.J. Canon. My (original) idea was about the Enterprise Crew (from J.J. Universe) meeting "my universe" and realizing it after a vlog of the "Other Jim" has gone viral on the ship.
> 
> About this Universe?  
> #01. No Nero/Nerada. Vulcan is safe. George Kirk died during Jim's first year at the Academy. Amanda and Pike are alive.  
> #02. Jim and Spock are bonded (10 y) and married (6/5 y). They met at the Academy, at the end of Jim first year. (He was 18 and Spock's 21.) It started as a teacher-student relationship (kinda). After Jim graduated, they worked two years under the command of Pike. Then, Jim got the Enterprise for the first "Five Years Mission".  
> #03. Jim (and Spock) are kinda "popular" in the Alpha and Beta Quadrants because of some "Big Event", that's also why Starfleet asked Jim to start vlogging. To promote the Fleet.  
> #04. Pon Farr striked while they were already coming back home. The "Pregnancy" is caused by an alien "fruit" with medicinal properties, that McCoy gave to Jim... The Fruit got confused by Spock and Jim... Err... activities and only tried to help... No really. It's a nice fruit. (What the hell am I saying?) (It's a baby girl, by the way!)  
> Kaps look like donuts (kinda). Sash-savas and kasas are vulcans fruits. Kheh is a vulcan grain. And theris-masu, is a vulcan herbal tea.
> 
> And... That's all you need to know, I think... If you have questions, just shoot. I'll gladly answer.
> 
>  **IF YOU WANT TO USE THIS (OR A PART OF IT), GO ON!**  
>  (Just, send me a link, I absolutly want to read/see your work and love it with all my heart! And/or if you use the illustration, credit, please.)

**ILLUSTRATION BY MCCOYSM**  


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[THE VLOG'S THEME (BACKGROUND MUSIC)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx6fcS3CAzw)  


BEDROOM, SPOCK-ND-JIM APARTMENT (SAN FRANCISCO)  
[Jim is in bed. Alone. Shirtless and looking kinda sick but smiling.]

JIM (MONOLOGUE): Hi guys. So, as you can see, we are back at San Fran and I’m really sorry, I didn’t manage to show you much that last week in space, but we were actually sick and basically, just stay in bed all days, with Bones fussing at us. Though I might got some images for you by Uhura or Chekov, as they had T’Vran and T’Leng during our medical leave – if you are asking yourself ; T’Reni is filming me, right now and she is of the same model as T’Leng… but in red. Anyway, we got sick and obviously, Spock recovered faster than me, so he is working in the next room, while I’m trying to get brave enough to go buy tea and one of these vulcans pastries, I have been craving since, like, yesterday.

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BEDROOM, SPOCK-ND-JIM APARTMENT (SAN FRANCISCO)  
[Jim is in front of a mirror. Alone. Wearing a summer outfit and playing with his (bed)hair.]

JIM (MONOLOGUE): So, I managed to get out of bed and dress myself – shirt’s from Stargaze, by the way, and my short’s from, err, Target I thing. I’m not actually sure of that so I’ll ask Spock before writing it in the description.

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CORRIDOR, SPOCK-ND-JIM APARTMENT BUILDING (SAN FRANCISCO)  
[Jim is at their door. Alone. Filming his face (close-up) and more-or-less singing the coffee shop jingle. He wiggles his eyebrows after his last words.]

JIM (MONOLOGUE): Let’s go to Xenon, let’s go to Xenon, ‘Cause Xenon Coffee is the – Oh, hey, just remember I got a cover holo for you, guys, so I might upload it this week, seeing that I’m not doing anything special soon-ish… Maybe going to the beach with Sulu, if the doctor nor the bond mate get anything to say against it. And let’s be realistic, they ALWAYS have something to say about every single things I do. I don’t know why I put up with them… Or yeah, I know why I keep Spock.

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[(Mostly) Views of San Francisco's streets and Jim's feet, walking on the sidewalk, between their apartment and the coffee shop. With Lean On, by Major Lazer & DJ Snake [[♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn9AQoI7mYU)] as soundtrack.]

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XENON, COFFEE SHOP (SAN FRANCISCO)  
[Jim is off camera. Filming the displays and the barista, a young strawberry blonde.]

JIM (VOICE OVER): Hi… Jessica. ( _Hi, what can I get you today?_ ) I’ll take a Theris, your biggest format and… Two sash-savas kaps, plus one… kasa kap and a kheh kap. ( _That’s would be all?_ ) Yes, thank you. ( _Here. Can I have your name?_ ) Jim. (Thank you, Sir. Your order will be ready in a minut.) Thanks… Look at this… The chocolate one looks xxx but, I can’t eat cocoa, doctor’s order. My life is so hard, sometimes.

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[(Again) Views of San Francisco's streets and Jim's feet, walking on the sidewalk, between the coffee shop and their apartment. Plus, images of his tea and pastries that Spock (whom we never really see the face) take from his hands when he get home. Close-up (focus on their lips) on a (very) chaste kiss between them. Lean On, by Major Lazer & DJ Snake is playing again.]

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LIVING ROOM, SPOCK-ND-JIM APARTMENT (SAN FRANCISCO)  
[Jim is sprawled on the sofa. Eating pastries and drinking tea, while watching an Orion show. (Tv is off-camera.) Spock is in the background, behind him, working. He is "shocked" by what he see on the screen.]

JIM (MONOLOGUE): I’m back at our apartment, eating kaps and watching some kind of really… interesting orion novella – Oh my goodness, what - Did you saw that? By Sura' ( _Jim._ ) – Err, anyway, you don’t want to know. So, I’m gonna call it a day and I swear, I will get back to you, guys, with more interesting content soon ; like that cover I talked about earlier and… Let’s say a big surprise? Love y’a all – Oh and don’t forget, last week before the closure of the academy admissions for this fall! Bye, guys!

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[Credits and Links, on the Vlog's theme music.]


End file.
